Quote of The Day

(Granny was upset with my Aunt Josie for not coming to see her recently. Her response to Josie's name...)

"That old fart! Next time you see her tell her I'm dead."

We are still laughing at that. And also the fact that granny was gravely disappointed in Austin and I for me not being pregnant. It's impossible to please the woman.

We need fellowship with others to be alone safely.
We need solitude to be with others meaningfully.

"Awe Fiddle"

Last night we celebrated Christmas with Austin's mom and grandparents. After opening presents and stuffing ourselves with a huge meal, we settled in to a game of Rummy.


What Austin and I discovered was that people not in our generation possess a hidden language reserved for expression during games like Rummy. We were unable to comprehend the meaning of most of the words that came out of his mother and grandmother's mouths. When we realized they were talking in gibberish, we decided to record some of the expressions for future translation. Here's the list:

• "Fiddle-do-dee"
• "Oohey Louie"
• "Dear Gussy George"
• "Oh my gracious-sakes-alive"
• "Puddy!"
• "Omanomanoman"
• "Poo"
• "Oh for Pete's sake"
• "That's not.. hoopty-doo"
• "Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle"

There were many more of these words that were said before we began recording. We hope to one day understand the meaning of these words and possibly implement them in our future card games.

I've Been Captivated

It's funny how I am often complaining that I have so little time. However, when a good book crosses my lap, I amazingly find time to read it.

I seriously cannot wait to curl up on the couch and dig in to these pages tonight.

Joy

"Joy"
Puritan Prayers and Devotions

Let my heart leap towards the eternal sabbath,
where the work of redemption, sanctification, preservation, glorification is finished and perfected for ever,where thou wilt rejoice over me with joy.

There is no joy like the joy of heaven,
for in that state are no sad divisions, unchristian quarrels, contentions, evil designs, weariness, hunger, cold, sadness, sin, suffering, persecutions, toils of duty.
O healthful place where none are sick!
Oh happy land where all are kings!
O holy assembly where all are priests!
How free a state where none are servants except to thee!
Bring me speedily to the land of joy.

Livin on the Edge

Let me set the scene.
I was on edge today. Perhaps it was from the weekend full of high school ministry events that wore me out. Perhaps it's me feeling the weight of my job. Perhaps it's hormones. Whatever it may be, I was on edge. Conversely, my husband was in a playful-bantering mood. Not picking up on my edginess at all.
Bless his heart, he didn't stand a chance.

I tell him what cabinet some seasoning goes in. He places it on the opposite side of the kitchen with a mischievous smile.

I grow irritated

Some other bantering happens that pushes me more to the edge

I grow more irritated and move to a different room

He brings me the glass of water that I left on the table that I didn't want to drink and playfully tells me I need to drink it.

I give death stare.

He responds "If looks could kill, I'd be a dead man right now"

I'm growing sensitive now

He teases me for leaving something else on the table

I'm getting a lump in my throat

He notices I've gone from banter mode to sensitive mode and asks why.

As any girl knows, this only causes more sensitivity. Tears start forming so I hide behind my book.

He notices tears. Tone softens. He comes into room.

This causes me to tear up more and transition to a cry

Austin kindly admits, "I'm not sure what to do with you right now."

Laughter and more tears flowing now.

We begin to talk about what was behind all the emotions. In so doing, Austin makes an observation...

"Do you realize you just went from crying to laughing and back to crying in half a second?!"

My reaction through my tears: laughing.


After some emotional vomiting and some good prayer together, all is at peace in the Conner household. Now that I'm out of the oh-so-familiar-uncontrolled-emotions (girls you know what I'm talking about- husbands you kinda do) I can look back and laugh at the exchange between us. Especially the moment where Austin was humble enough to simply admit that he had no idea what to do with his hormonal wife. To his credit, his response couldn't have been better.

Today

Today I woke up cranky.
No good reason.
Just woke up moody and irritated at the day.
I didn't want to get up.
I didn't want to get dressed and ready.
I didn't want to have a quiet time.
I didn't want to go workout.
I didn't want to go get stuff for the senior high Christmas party tonight.
I didn't want to do anything.
But at the same time I didn't want to do nothing.
Just cranky.

Despite my mood, I sat down in my quiet time chair.
Opened my bible.
Bowed my head to pray.
In my hardness I began to be humbled.
This is not MY day.
This is not MY life.
God has a purpose for my life today or I wouldn't be alive.
I am here to serve the highest king.
I have so so so much to be grateful for.
I get to wake up next to a wonderful man.
I have the things I need to get ready for the day.
I have warmth in my house and food in my fridge.
I can afford a gym that helps me stay healthy.
I have access to the living God who cares enough about me to show me my sin.
I have been given grace in my ungratefulness.
Things aren't so bad after all.
Today is a good day.

A Day in the Life

of a student ministry director...

Today, I squeezed 10 high school girls in a minivan that only had 4 functioning seats. It was like a clown car when we pulled up and unloaded at Panera.
As we passed a cop on the way there, I had to direct half of them to duck down and the other half to act normal. The didn't seem to mind. But seriously, what teenager minds undermining authority?

My Biggest Weakness

Estrogen is a funny thing

I think when you get married there are some instincts that unexpectedly kick in. I don't know if it's hormonal or sociological. Either way, I have found that there are some feminine desires and behaviors that are unexpectedly coursing through my body.

• I want to cook more. I have cooked and baked more in the past two months than I did in the past year. Maybe I'm wanting to use all my new kitchen gadgets. Maybe I like that someone is there to eat my stuff. Either way, my hobby for cooking has been rejuvenated.
• I want things clean. I've never been all that messy but I've never been all that clean either. In the past, the dustball in the corner of my room used to never bother me. I could walk past it for weeks until it became big enough to move on it's own. However, I now feel this odd instinct to clean and keep things shiny and smelling fresh.
• I want a garden. The idea of me bringing in fresh peppers, potatoes, lettuce, snow peas, basil, cucumbers, and more is so appealing! I know it's winter and I know I don't have the time or resources right now to do this but I'm feeling the urge. I told my dad that I wanted my Christmas present from him to be a day in Columbia helping me start a garden. I don't think he could be happier to give that to me.
• Kids. Now don't get the wrong idea. We are in no rush at all to have kids. But my attitude and desire for them has completely altered. About 6 months ago when people would joke around about us having kids, I would flip. It freaked me out. However, I have felt a shift in myself when the topic is brought up. I'm softened to the idea. I am seeing it a bit differently. Part of me wants it but the other 80% knows that we are in no place to even think about that right now. So until the time comes, we will have to be satisfied with our pooch to fill the void.
  

I mean, really?

The home-owning adventure never ends.

This morning, I went to turn on our kitchen water. Nada. Nothing. Dead.
After checking all the other water sources in our home and finding them to be fully functioning, we diagnosed the problem as a frozen pipe.

Armed with a hairdryer and flashlight, my beloved husband Austin suited up and crawled under our house into the nasty crawl space.
Nothing worked to thaw out this pipe. After leaving it alone for a few hours and letting the sun do its job, our water started working again. Whew.

That is- until the next freeze.

It's Darling!

A Love/Hate Relationship

For the past 24 hours, there has been a meowing cat under our house. You would think that a solid foundation and hardwood floors would block out the small noise a kitten makes. Nope.
At times I feel very angry at this cat. It is interfering with the peace I hope to gain from being at home. It's like a rhythmic noise that I can't turn off.
Other times, I feel a genuine sadness and empathy for the kitty. In those moments, I open a can of tuna and put it in the crawlspace hole.
We've made relational progress though. It came within 3 feet of me yesterday.
But the dang thing won't stop meowing. I get angry. Just shut up! I can't sleep!
But then I think of it meowing for it's mother that is never going to return.
More tuna.
I've never felt such an range of emotions for a stray animal.